what if i kissed you right now?

i miss you- you'd been all to me.

i miss you- your touch and way of speak.

i miss you- your eyes, hair and skin.

why and who- took you from me? xx

You’ll get over it…” It’s the clichés that cause the trouble. To lose someone you love is to alter your life for ever. You don’t get over it because ‘it” is the person you loved. The pain stops, there are new people, but the gap never loses. How could it? The particularness of someone who mattered enough to grieve over is not made anodyne by death. This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no-one else can fit it. Why would I want them to?

reblogged x

anguish .

sometimes,

even words can't describe the pain you feel .

betrayal . over and over .

same story . different people .

is this how everyone will be ?

black hole sun,

won't you come .

and wash away the pain ?

won't you come .

won't you come ?

your secret is all i am.

your past is all i am.

how do i want to just cut my ties with you and diminish .

with all of you .

i got shit faced.

but we have such amazing moments when it's just you, me, and our place . = /

xx

It's like my mind knows what's right but my heart is being retarded and still cares.

copied off kathy's =] x

my Sunshine .

how long am i going to allow myself to be degraded to such an extent?

acknowledgement. recognition. title.

you can give that to the whole fucking world, not me .

not me when the world is present .

as i sit across you all i wanna do is scoff .

scoff at your lies .

as i sit across you all i wonder is do you know how much you've hurt me ?

how much you're hurting me ?

and i know .

i know for a fact that i deserve better-

that i don't need to put up with your bullshits .

and i see myself soaring up so high without you .

i see myself free, escaping your evil clutches that suffocates me .

i see myself happy, so carefree , without you .

and all i have to do is pick up your calls and i'll be stuck where i am at again .

super massive black hole .

i'm a weakling .

i disgust me .

and i don't deserve breathing .

i hate every second for i seem to be failing every second .

lies, masks , hypocrisy .

i hate what i've become .

i keep standing here .

i keep sowing these seeds that never grows .

still i wait .

sayang,

how do i crave for you to give me back my value .

for you to rescue me .

so i wouldn't be this ,

this ugly person .

say the word .

make me yours .

and i will do ANYTHING ,

just to be able to confidently say

at least i'm loved . xx

all she wrote .

it never stops raining.
with daggers sewn through her heart she cries.
filled with confusion she cries.

"no one can help me, until i can help myself.
and i can't help myself."

frozen throughout, exposing broken skin.
one week, one more week.
she can't take anymore burning in her mind.

"why can't i sever your head? why can't i sever your memory?"

the image that burned through her eyes has made it on to the mirror.
broken glasses reflected the shards of the past.

forcefed memories walking on tacks, please pull the knife out of my back and i'll pull the knife out of yours.
"you can't stop the rain" , she says .

"you can't stop the rain. "


it's my birthday tomorrow.
and i woke up feeling bleak.
another year.
another year just passing me by.
sink me, kill me, eat me. xx

save tonight -

it's kinda funny .

how people never seem to learn their lesson .

i never do , he doesn't too .

i am back to where i am , months ago .

sometimes ,

i have the urge to just cave in ,

to an invisible higher power .

wanting to be like most people ,

dumping their problems and finding solace .

stubbornness .

my main problem .

oh well .

ranji,

has to learn to let go ,

and stop living in the past ,

and stop thinking ,

about EVERYTHING that they did .

you've been here over and over,

you know everybody talks ,

nobody sticks to their word .

so buckle up ,

it's going to be a ride x

parachute -

Someone close left you behind
you were filled with sorrow,
you were crying all the time.
You were lost in your own world.
You were dreaming in deep sadness,
couldn't break free.
Now you have to be strong.
Face the future, do not hide.
You don't have to be afraid.
Open your eyes for tomorrow.
You remember all the things you've done.All these memories kept you crying.
Let it go!
Go on, don't cry. You have tomorrow.
As the light leads the way, you will follow.
You're lost into a world of sorrow.
Don't close your eyes for another day.
You see the past as present time.
You have to find a way to let go, break your chains.
All this grief has gone too far.
try to get a grip on yourself, or you won't last.
You remember all the things you've done.All these memories kept you crying.
Let it go!
Go on, don't cry. You have tomorrow.
As the light leads the way, you will follow.
You're lost into a world of sorrow.
Don't close your eyes for another day, another day, another day.

you only know who have your back when you're in dire need of team ranjie =] x

stateless.

Every girl has that one boy that they will never fully get over. The one that gives them butterflies when ever someone says his name. The one you compare every guy to. The one you cry over and over about keep hoping that there’s still a chance for you to be together, and no-one can understand why him? The one everyone thinks you can do so much better even though you don’t want to. The one that keeps you from falling in love because you keep hoping that there’s still a chance for you to be together.

reblogged. x

murdered.

you know that feeling when he smiles at you?

he makes you feel so special.

it's as if he sees through you and nothing else matters at that point anymore?

he builds your trust.

he showers you with his love, his tender affection.

and then one day he blindfolds you.

takes you somewhere where only the both of you exist.

he opens your blindfold and you inhale a sharp breath, you've seen heaven.

he lays you down on this bed.

ties you down.

*butterflies in your tummy wondering what's to happen next*

he takes this towel, he puts it on your face.

and then he just keeps pouring water nonstop.

you try to scream, but more water keeps going in.

you're hurt.

you want him to stop.

he keeps on going.

he overpowered you.

there's nothing left to do.

except die.

and just when you're getting there.

he resuscitates you.

and he does it again and again .

till you just wish he'd just leave you dead already.

the last thoughts flashing through your head would be nothing but dismay, disappointed.

for he was not what you believed he is.

but somehow you're just too stubborn to see what he really is .

yeah . you're murdered bitch x

you can be my Superman .

and that is true, baby .

we've had only good moments for the past two weeks.

two blissful weeks .

and he keeps reminding me that he loves me .

your kisses mean the world to me .

if only i could share with the world every single detail, you'd see where i'm coming from . but then again it feels like my haven .

this was saved in my draft yeah? how those seems so far away, yet again .

i know i'll never be the same again. =]

i changed after one, doing the exact opposite.

and i guess i'll change again.

still in the quest of finding out who i am i guess.

i have all these views on how i see myself yeah?

but i am nothing i expected myself to be.

sometimes it's like i don't even know who i was, who i am, and who i'm to be anymore .

a series of events,

is all i need to get here .

a better series of events,

is all i need, to get out of here.

"please don't forget to call me just to let me know you're doing okie away from me. "

_ summer's song-dear juliet _

sometimes i wonder why aren't i getting back what i give .

and then sometimes i'm like but that means you're not giving selflessly-

which i would like to believe i am,

but with the episodes taking places,

really would you answer me , who ever you are ,

what did i do so badly ,

that i don't deserve being happy?

to me, you'd always be perfect .

even if the world thinks you're flawed from the core to the out . x

run..

saw a picture of him kissing someone else.

how could you?

i went cold.

i threw up.

how. could. you?

the same cycle you're repeating.

the one you promised never to repeat.

you and your lies.

you kill me so . . x

alone.

would that day ever come?

a picturesque view in my head .

a windy, stormy rain i will be lost in .

he walks steadily towards me.

gifting me with a smile that brings out the sun in me.

saving me.

*would you be my saviour?

*would you realize that i'm hurting badly within?

*would you see past my fake laughs and smiles?

*would you ensure me that everything is going to be alright now, now that i've got you?

scars,

hidden .

Sorrow,

masked .

only you can take it all away . x

you're the best in the whole wide world .

Desolated and silent-
Absorbent and enveloped the night-
Penetrating the thought in an only pain-
Shut in the suffering memories-
Eyes in flames, defeated eyes .

is this where it all ends ? i hope so . i truly truly hope so .

i don't want to be living in a pretend world anymore .

a world i built, to put myself at ease.

xx