this should be true. .

" Damaged people are dangerous.

they know they will survive "

—all the messy stuff that gets to the heart of what it means to be human.

“The human species was given dominion over the earth and took the opportunity to exterminate other species and warm the atmosphere and generally ruin things in its own image, but it paid the price for the privileges: that the finite and specific animal body of this species contained a brain capable of conceiving the infinite and wishing to be infinite itself.”

some things are not meant to be done. Some things are not meant to be said. Some things should be forgotten. __ but this pain i feel is so deep. Intense. Dying. A congrats is in order but i can't bring myself to say it. I'm hated by all. From insects to people. What's my raison d'etre? I lost one and i can seem to find another yet totally give up on the former. What am i worth? Apparently i'm that despicable. I wish i were perfect. So i wouldn't have to ponder about the mistakes i've done and the ways i'm to ammend them. I wish i were perfect so people wouldn't leave my side. I wish i were so damn perfect i wouldn't have thoughts and emotions that gets me sidetracked. I wish i were perfect so i would know who i am from day one. The rain falls on and it goes. Yet my tears flows constantly and with every drop of tear shed is a wish. A wish to turn back time. A wish to be loved. A wish to be needed. A wish to be wanted. A wish to be cuddled. A wish to be forgived. A wish to erase memories. A wish to wipe away all my mistakes. A wish never to regret again. If you weren't who you were then you wouldn't be who you are. But what if you despise who you are. I long for the day where i'd wake up not hating myself. __ kudos to you. Perhaps it was never meant to be at all. Afterall, who am i to anybody anyway? A mere passing cloud, a stepping stone, a practice dummy for something far far greater than i would ever be. Xx

"it's pointless in the end,

because all the worrying..

and all the making of plans for things that could and could not happen..

it only makes things worse.

xx

updates!

the first thing on my agenda is to welcome the only other person besides myself who acknowledges the mere existence of my thoughts and what not. Wern yi, i welcome you whole heartedly. Hehe. The text i got after you've read it made me cry. Yes as you can see i'm emotionally whacky. So now that i'm stripped all the way to the bone, when's my turn to read yours? *winks* __ i wonder how many lightyears has it been since i last had something worth mentioning. Mr.david, my maths sir and my new found awesome friend, wern yi motivates me even more to just expand my knowledge for the passion of it. Allegedly, the universe is constantly expanding. I would only be in sync with it if and only if i keep expanding too, not in a physical way though. __ if his life is worth nothing, is mine supposed to be equivalent to the existence of a worker ant? __ it's 6ish in the morning hence the crapping __ i have a stalker now. Haha. Nyt nyt x