some things are not meant to be done. Some things are not meant to be said. Some things should be forgotten. __ but this pain i feel is so deep. Intense. Dying. A congrats is in order but i can't bring myself to say it. I'm hated by all. From insects to people. What's my raison d'etre? I lost one and i can seem to find another yet totally give up on the former. What am i worth? Apparently i'm that despicable. I wish i were perfect. So i wouldn't have to ponder about the mistakes i've done and the ways i'm to ammend them. I wish i were perfect so people wouldn't leave my side. I wish i were so damn perfect i wouldn't have thoughts and emotions that gets me sidetracked. I wish i were perfect so i would know who i am from day one. The rain falls on and it goes. Yet my tears flows constantly and with every drop of tear shed is a wish. A wish to turn back time. A wish to be loved. A wish to be needed. A wish to be wanted. A wish to be cuddled. A wish to be forgived. A wish to erase memories. A wish to wipe away all my mistakes. A wish never to regret again. If you weren't who you were then you wouldn't be who you are. But what if you despise who you are. I long for the day where i'd wake up not hating myself. __ kudos to you. Perhaps it was never meant to be at all. Afterall, who am i to anybody anyway? A mere passing cloud, a stepping stone, a practice dummy for something far far greater than i would ever be. Xx