i could use a wish right now .

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite me thinking that it is impossible.

copied off liy.

xx

you're my muse .

you can be mad as a mad dog at the way things went,

you can swear and curse the fates.

but when it comes to the end,

you have to let go.

-Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons

looking back to where we were,

looking at where we are at.

is this what it has come to be?

none of us giving in to each other.

a battle of egos,

leaving us nothing but tears and frowns,

a heart still wanting to be fixed.

is this how we should remember us by?

seeing you hurts.

thinking of you hurts.

not seeing you hurts.

talking to you hurts.

not talking to you hurts.

it's all so bizarre .

it's all so fairly new .

perhaps i'd be contented only when i learn the truth.

was i the queen of your heart once? or am i just another trophy on your shelf?

xx

does he miss me?

does he miss me?

does he know how much my heart yearns for his love?

does he know how much my skin yearns for his touch?

would he ever know how much my lips yearns for just a peck?

do i want him to know that i'm fine without him? or the exact opposite?

which ever works. which ever that would make him miss me .

The worst thing a guy can do
is let a girl fall in love when
he doesn't intend to catch her fall.

The saddest love is to love someone,
to know that they still want you,
but the circumstances don't let you have them.

Maybe if I had just looked away that first night you came towards me,
everything would be different and my heart wouldn't be breaking right now.

A heart breaking isn't always as loud as a bomb exploding..
Sometimes it can be as quiet as a feather falling..
And the most painful thing is,
no one really hears it, except you..

Sometimes I wish I had never met you
because then I could go to bed at night not
knowing there was someone like you out there.

yes i'm whining for him -________-

i just want to be appreciated.

and be stamped.

oh well.

if he truly did love me,

good for him . xx

One day at a time hun.. can't go by day go by hour, cant go by hour, a min.. You'll get your normal-ness soon.

copied that off kerstin =]

he uhm . doesn't care . x

is fine, good?

copied off shaz's status,

If you lie to yourself long enough, does it become true? If you tell yourself you are a good person, you are happy, you are perfectly fine, is it true? Or am I still as miserable as I always was, licking wounds that run deep.

i knew how shit was going to end.

i just had hopes that maybe it isn't what it is.

one half of me is going like fuck it i know i'm capable of much more he's merely a jerk and i can do so much better.

and the other half is just pretty much depressed. wow i suck that badly as a person? haha .

chery cole sang,

" anything that's worth having,

is sure enough worth fighting for.

quitting's out of the question.

when it gets tough gotta fight some more. "

i fought, and i lost.

i just need to gather up the energy in me to move on.

i'm hurting, bad.

but i'm to pick myself up.

i've gotta be one dumbass to be breaking up with the same guy in various ways and times.

but he's a dumbass that makes me happy.

i just knew i can't pretend that my world's complete anymore.

*sighs*

i fought, and lost.

i fought, and lost.

i fought, and lost.

take it all away baby.

take my heart in your hands.

make me mean something.

need me.

want me.

love me.

xx

the way it ends?

everything keeps being played in rewind.

i truly wonder where i went wrong.

i must have done something so bad .

something so evil.

something so despicable.

to constantly feel like this.

is this the way it's meant to be?

i'm trying so hard.

am i invisible?

or simply non-deserving?

my tears stream down my face.

my spirit seems to be buried underground.

my heart was shattered and swept away by the wind.

unable to recollect the dust,

all that's left is this worthless body.

it's so dark inside.

would you please bring me home?

i didn't like it one bit when my love didn't wish me a happy bday.

i would not do that to you. . but you have far greater people with you.

i can't compete.

not with the shadows neither the presence of anyone.

xx

crash into me .

i am aware that i'm not alone in this shit hole i find myself trapped in.

everything seems bleak.

nothing to look forward to.

same shit different day.

where do i find the courage to get out of my comfort zone?

i'm not taking up any more self challenges with the lame excuse of already giving up alcohol.

love is a place i find myself looking for?

when i just don't have anyone to turn to.

when i don't have anyone i would want to burden.

i just let another me take over.

i feel this sharp pain,

and a rush of relief.

red, my favorite color.

staining me.

stings more when some tears are dropped onto these art i find myself fascinated with.

how do you dare to dream ?

when i'm still having doubts on whether do i dare to live?

success.

it's what we all aim for .

somehow i see it in my head every moment.

i just don't seem to have any tendencies to act on it . . ?

procrastination, my best friend .

i really need to stop hanging out with you.

you don't seem to be doing me any good -___-

does a simple i'm sorry supposed to make you feel better and forgive and forget ?

yes .

because i want it to work for me as well .

would you please just hold me .

i need to know in your embrace is where i belong .

dare i say i do not have any more feelings for him ?

absolutely not .

i'm just trying to repent my sins so one day he'd be ready to take me back .

he is a good person .

i know he is .

i believe he is .

but does that diminish me ?

xx

you and i-

unable to close my eyes,

for what if my phone rang and i missed your call.

you're my wrong one.

why do i still am so hung up over you ? =/

copied off mamou's status-

I love you and you know it, Everytime we speak i show it.. What more must i do to prove that i am worth your time? x

and they lived happily ever after,

NOT!

the only thing worse than a broken heart is knowing you gave him another chance.

i guess it's true, people don't care. they're oblivious to your menial deeds .

if you truly loved someone, you'd look past his deficiencies. and i did. he just can't look past mine .

the ways i love you amaze even me .

but my love doesn't do me any good .

this time,

i jumped through every single hoop you made me jump.

you really made me happy, and i thought i did too .

i really really intended on sticking to you no matter how bad things get.

and to know that it's going to forever be like that, sucks balls.

can it hurt anymore than it already does?

i spent my whole night crying .

fishballs for eyes by the time i was done.

lies. mere lies.

i just wanted to be made yours .

xx

have a little faith in me .

do you not see how you affect me with every action and every word ?

you make me so happy .

i would still want you around if i'm pissed at you .

words can explain but why should they when your kisses makes up for everything you ever did that felt wrong .

you bring up being married to me twice . (yes i feel tingles all over me when you bring that topic up)

bitch week . put up with me =/

i wanna watch shrek with you. for i believe in happily ever after for that 2 hours . xx

back in black .

you frustrate me so .

why do you have to be so blind ?

can't you see me destructing myself believing in you ?

i've become something at your disposal .

for you had me .

for you got me .

and then now it's just plain ruining me .

what do you want ?

what do you fear ?

is losing me a thought that sends chills up your spine ?

oh boy i wish you'd get your head out of the clouds and look at me for once . xx