i get lonely too.

don't speak.

hold me, soak up my tears with your shirt. 

and let's never bring it up again. xx

mirror, mirror .

do i see a woman ,
or do i see a child ?

i see a woman with the insides of a child .
or maybe i see a child yearning for the insides of a strong woman .

with every doing,
i disappoint myself.
how does one live with that?

in the moment you just do things and say things, a rush that takes control.
and when that gets diluted i'm left with me, disappointed .

everything seems to be in the past .
i'm fighting to move on .
i'm in the ring with myself .
and she's my worst enemy .

xx

i need a dollar .

this is all way too familiar.
i'm still desolate.
yeah i'm busy yeah i've things to do yeah i've people around yeah i'm SUPPOSED to feel great.
i don't.
i seriously don't
nagging,
i still hear that nagging voice.

WHY?
i don't get myself.
what else do i seek?

i will sail back to you...

is this jealousy?
is this being greedy?
ravenous perhaps?

something's still missing.
i don't think i have the energy to pick up another activity.
i wish to be understood, for i can't understand. =/ xx

hitting turbulence .

watched all these movies. read all these books. heard these stories.

i simply stand out.
coward,
you branded me.
a coward is definitely what i am.

deceit,
she's basked in deceit.

i know what's wrong.
i'm all wrong.
how do you fix yourself?
i tried.
is consistency the key?
its rather hard when you find yourself slipping down the same hole.

agony,
agony is all she feel.

xx