i'm reminded of you so much.
it just hurts so bad.
just when i thought i was healing i seem to be bleeding all over again..
stab my heart. stab me deep. x
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
"NO"
the big "NO" ....
why do i always have a problem saying it. do i want to please people and not lose any friends that much? i should just kill myself. ugh. why do i do this to myself? if only i knew the answer. perform an action yet mutilate my brains or thoughts.
my day started out so bad. 6/14 for my physics test. WTF! i'm so not smart. i know i need to buck up and shit but i thought i was getting gradually better. apparently not eyh?
16 days to my birthday. parties and presents wanted. xxxx
why do i always have a problem saying it. do i want to please people and not lose any friends that much? i should just kill myself. ugh. why do i do this to myself? if only i knew the answer. perform an action yet mutilate my brains or thoughts.
my day started out so bad. 6/14 for my physics test. WTF! i'm so not smart. i know i need to buck up and shit but i thought i was getting gradually better. apparently not eyh?
16 days to my birthday. parties and presents wanted. xxxx
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
junk email
after such a long time, i'm finally posting on my blog..
i'm one to check my junk mails. and i got one just recently titled "sometimes"
intrigued, i opened it and there was no ad, no pictures, no music, no links, no attachment of any sort. there was just one line "My contempt responds in the wolf."
and i can't help but to wonder..what on bloody earth does it mean? haha.
it has a nice ring to it but i'm so clueless as to what it means. maybe i should actually reply to the sender, although it's supposedly junk.. just afraid i guess. i don't really know.
at least i've something to ponder over now.
starting college. moving into the student house. loneliness still lingers around me.the life i pictured i would have and the life that i am leading have vast differences. if only i knew why.
sometimes, my cigarette stick is truly my best friend.
_no judgement, no questions, no answers, no avoiding._
it's always there. providing me solace. in many ways.
life is so unpredictable. if only i could find a glitch in time and warp backwards. oh the things i would do for it.
i don't even let people know i have a blog. weird isn't it? i guess i just would like to rant and not be judged by people. people whom i love and people whom i don't know. sometimes my insight scares me. i have always been mad and pissed at the world for i can't find that one person who truly understands me but maybe even i don't understand myself.
blah. on a happier note, my birthday is in 17 days!
i really wish someone would get me a laptop. i need one.
i love birthdays. i really would want my 18th to my an amazing one. a happy one.
off to class now.
love,
ranjie xXx
p/s: my contempt responds in the wolf =] oh and i created a new word. hinching. i have no idea what it means i just blurted it out. sounds cool. hinching. i just need to define it i guess. xxx
i'm one to check my junk mails. and i got one just recently titled "sometimes"
intrigued, i opened it and there was no ad, no pictures, no music, no links, no attachment of any sort. there was just one line "My contempt responds in the wolf."
and i can't help but to wonder..what on bloody earth does it mean? haha.
it has a nice ring to it but i'm so clueless as to what it means. maybe i should actually reply to the sender, although it's supposedly junk.. just afraid i guess. i don't really know.
at least i've something to ponder over now.
starting college. moving into the student house. loneliness still lingers around me.the life i pictured i would have and the life that i am leading have vast differences. if only i knew why.
sometimes, my cigarette stick is truly my best friend.
_no judgement, no questions, no answers, no avoiding._
it's always there. providing me solace. in many ways.
life is so unpredictable. if only i could find a glitch in time and warp backwards. oh the things i would do for it.
i don't even let people know i have a blog. weird isn't it? i guess i just would like to rant and not be judged by people. people whom i love and people whom i don't know. sometimes my insight scares me. i have always been mad and pissed at the world for i can't find that one person who truly understands me but maybe even i don't understand myself.
blah. on a happier note, my birthday is in 17 days!
i really wish someone would get me a laptop. i need one.
i love birthdays. i really would want my 18th to my an amazing one. a happy one.
off to class now.
love,
ranjie xXx
p/s: my contempt responds in the wolf =] oh and i created a new word. hinching. i have no idea what it means i just blurted it out. sounds cool. hinching. i just need to define it i guess. xxx
Friday, July 17, 2009
july..
college is amazing.
you're not.
why can't i stop dreaming about you?
everyone is getting back together.
except me and you.
do i suck that badly?
gah. i'm tired.
so well yeah. may you be blessed with every step you're to take. x
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