this is for you =]

I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.

and i guess i'm having another ranjie moment . ugh . x

holding on .

Another me replaced myself -

Another her replaced my love .

once i've decided , i'm good .

a girlfriend's apparent betrayal i do not really tolerate .

they're supposed to be there , and mend you , and it's them assholes who break you apart .

but you did .

you've no idea how badly you did .

you chose someone else over me .

telling yourself you didn't probably helps you sleep at night .

but i know what people are capable of ,

and you are people .

so you did tear me .

and i'm done with you .

i truly am .

i'm just being nice at this point .

honestly i don't want any future association with you .

i was in pieces . you shattered me further .

now i picked my own self up , and i want you to fuck off .

so we had something .

you chose everything .

it's up to you whether you think if your choice was a mistake or not,

but i sure hope you don't regret it .

but i'm gone .

you can go have fun .

i truly truly . don't want to bother =] x

ashtray .

he looks me in the eye .

he wants to know what makes me happy .

he does know that he does, doesn't he ?

it was . a mixed up kind of day i guess . but finally being able to have some spare time to actually post it up . hala and dana . dana and hala . i'm going to be bored and depressed when they leave = /

thanks to my own tom & jerry i've been able to keep me busy and not dealing with some bullshits. =]

i told him he had an eyelash that fell .

he picked it up .

and he made me make a wish .

and i blew it away .

he smiled .

i shied away .

this whole ashraf thing . a mistake was made . it's actually coming true . i've outgrown my feelings for him ? or at the very least i'm outgrowing them . but i've not completely reached where i wanna be . i still have hate . i still have jealousy . a shit load less , i deal with these emotions better now . but , the fact that they exist bug me .

when i feel his skin on me ,

my hair , my hands ,

i melt . he's so , perfect .

where i am is where i put myself once .

and now it's just about me getting out, alive.

hey, i'm human after all . i have to put myself first at times .

he asked me over for a movie ,

at the place where it all started .

i expected more out of all of you . shallow people . x

do you got me ?

nobody gets it .

nobody sees through me .

all this bottled pain, confusion, anger and sadness .

would someone pick up on me?

oh how badly i want to be relieved of the ability to feel .

i've just lost my will .

i'm simply losing my way .

by day i'm chirpy-

by night my name's misery.

everything is just so difficult .

expectations of me AND my expectations of others .

every action hurts .

sometimes even breathing hurts .

when will it be enough ? x