excuse my mood .

everybody sees , nobody gets .

you look at me don't you?
don't you see the darkness within me?
think abyss .
think dark holes .
think that and multiply whatever you're picturing .

everybody sees , nobody gets .

its obviously easier to expect someone to be happy all the time .
they'd practically carve a smile if that's what it takes .
but this mind, it can explode .
i feel the prickly tears ,
i wipe it away .

everybody sees , nobody gets .

maybe it is true .
i breed depression .
but you and i both know its an illusion .
its a cruel myth fed to kids .
eluding me .

everybody sees , nobody gets .

self-inflicted rage .
in familiarity we find comfort . x

game over .

When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear,
And there is no one there to dry your tears,
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong.
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue,
I'd go crawling down the avenue.
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love.

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret.
Though winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet.

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true.
Nothing that I wouldn't do.
Go to the ends of the Earth for you,
To make you feel my love 


-adele;make you feel my love .




but i know for some reasons unknown to me, i'm a castaway in your world . 
ugly , you've labelled me . 
and ugly i'll stay . xx

young folks .

on some days , 

she's actually insanely drop dead beautiful .

then on other days ,

she wonders how does the world put up with such a squalid one.

in my head is a constant flow of pain.

distrusting every person.

i foresee a repeated future.

resulting in a heart that's locked down.

users' manual erased.

young lady .

striving for a life on her own .

trying to do it right .

trying not to make any mistakes , well any more.

vivid imagination, yet she's so confined ?

now she's drowning in her own darkness .

licking her wounds inflicted upon others , she's retreating .

lying in the dark , like a snake . 

waiting for her moment -

her moment to strike . x

20-year old stranger .

happy birthday to me .
1.44am .

where do i even begin to tell you what's wrong .
i find myself trapped within myself ; then entrapped within this world .


you looked back, can't i hold you accountable for that? Or is that something that works only on the silver screen..?

she noticed a scar. i switched the topic.

its pouring now..2am..
its pouring outside, and inside.
these hot tears that trickles down my cheeks brings me back to reality.

and the reality is,
i'm dying =/

i hate everything.
nothing is going my way.
i'm bending my back for shit.
i need things to stop being blown up in my face.
i don't want to put up with things anymore.
things that make me unhappy.
things that i need to conform my ways just to get by.

its like no one cares.
nobody gets it.
and this silence i confine myself to is riving me.

nada.
she's accomplished nada.

she's a tittle.
waiting to make her mark,
tired of being omitted of her own ambitions.

happy 20th birthday ranji.
may you enjoy this day celebrating the nothingness you've turned out to be. xx

i know i'm not forgiven .

Black & White .

Left & Right .

Right & Wrong .

there are always two sides.

which side will prevail this time? 

it's been long.

i do not want to give in.

for i know i'd always end up regretting.

but then there's the other side.

Rational & Irrational . 

xx