a cacophony of emotions .

i've just been so fine with myself .
i've been getting along just fine .

then he calls and i weaken .
it was a really great night .
happy birthday, bestie .
i've done what i could do to make your 20th a special one .

we were at stairway cafe .
laughing talking .
he kept brushing his hands his legs against mine .
one part of me goes like , damnit =S
one part goes please get away from me you've done enough .

he asked me whether i had missed him recently , i said yes yes and YES.
they asked him if he wondered about me in that manner he said yes .
i don't know what he wants from me or whether is he just lonely that's why he's been calling me just to check up on me.

but i was fine .
was back to the place where it all started .
missed my home .
for a long time i was just holding my breath .
wishing we'd end up together .

too late to cry, too broken to move on.

you're in my veins .
i inhaled you again tonight .
and goddamned, have i missed you .

i don't want to try anymore .
we've been here before .
please let me disappear on you .
please .
i can't afford to be broken further .
xx