somebody that i used to know .

people, plain fucking - people.

railway .

turning 21 this year.
supposedly marking the year i'm officially an "adult".

crying vehemently.
why, oh, do tell me why?

never at peace with herself.
every day trying.
pushing herself.
forcing her to become a better, her?

hearts too heavy.
its locked and buried in the bottom of the sea.
but i still find myself walking around with a very, very long chain.

nobody speaks her language.
all alone in a foreign land.
foreign to her own self too.

who is this person i see?
i share her body, which we both quite hate.
i share her thoughts, which we both drown in.
i share her tears, which we both feel the bitterness in each drop.
i share her heart, oh, that icebox she calls her heart.
i share her soul, which we both fear has been sworn to eternal pain.
who is in me?

she's broken you know.
her head shows her nothing but the past.
her body drags her around, surviving the present, in hopes of a better future.

xx

lies i heard, lies i told .

There's nothing more to life than love, is there?

and you are out there somewhere, aren't you? xx

disintegrate.

how do you compete?
how do you be the best of the best?
when there are already the lot of them right there.

in every area i think i'd excel, or supposedly win or something.
i'm severely lacking.

falling behind.
forever lurking around in the shadows.
will my time ever come?

or have i not done enough.
am i not on par with the rest of the world?

so many pretty girls.
so many smart ones.
so many decent ones.
so many slutty ones even.
beautiful, and whatnot.

if we had a scoreboard to rank everyone in this world, why go so far in this state, where will i stand? =/

crushed.
and they say, that's just how the cookie crumbles.

xx

!@$!#%

fuck offfffffff =/
get the fuck out of my fucking face you're breathing down my fucking neckk just fuck off already you digsust me =/ get the fucking idea already =/  xx

here by me.

"i wished i could open my veins and drain his cursed blood from my body."

"i'll be alright. i have you"

sleepless nights.
the past will always be within you.
scratching on the insides of your skin.
trying to find its way out.




despicable me.
it is so hard to think about tomorrow.
when all i wish for is the present night to be my last.


she wakes to a dark morning.
she sleeps to the darkest of nights.
and in between those dark hours, 
she goes from one second to the next.
trying to maintain equanimity.
is that a way for one to live?

xx