dragonette .

where do i even begin?

It's a never-ending whirlpool of feces I find myself drowning in.
One thing somehow always leads to another.

There are days where everything just goes wrong and then there's traffic topped with traffic lights that awaits only you to turn red, salt to the wound much?

Highs, I'll be soaring.
Lows, I'll come crashing.

Days and nights, they're moving at the uttermost, ridiculous, snail-like pace solely to drive me insane.
But time, oh weeks and months are passing by quicker than a ninja.

So engrossed in front of the computer, the abyss of this century and probably all the ones to come.

Demotivated, desolate.
All I look forward to is to close my eyes, hide under a blanket and fantasize about my perfect future.
Even that I can't seem to do peacefully anymore.
The price I've to pay.
Bloody bedbugs.
You'd think it's funny but trying sharing your bed with them for months.
You can't get a proper nights' sleep.
You crave for a good rest but dread your bed.
You itch, and you itch, and itch till it hurts.
I'm the only one getting bitten.
Is that why no one is doing anything to help me?

How do I teach myself to be here?
I want to be in the present, I want to excel.
I want to be the best ME I can be.
But my head is always in the cloud.
My mind, leading another life.
My body, surviving this one.

Am I stuck halfway?
That 'in between' place people hear rumors about?

Confidante-less,
I light one,
dreaming of paradise.
My paradise.

I had that one person to run to.
She has left as well.
I'm stuck in this world.
So cold.
So alone.

Everyone seems to be getting the chance to get up and change up.





I'm still here.

xx