close to me .

Don't know how to react.
Don't know what to think
Do know that I'm not expecting.
Do know that I'm not ready to be disappointed.

But who am I kidding.
Who am I to be giving anyone these flutters?
Who am I to be loved?
I'm to be ridiculed.
I'm not perfect.
I'm all yours to loathe. xx

god and its whiff .

Q : So you don't believe in god?

A: No.

xx

now i know .

I've always had this problem. Temperament.

I had this friend when I was 12.
She pointed it out.
She made a chart.
I get one smile on days I'm doing okay?
Frowns otherwise.
Can't really remember her system.
Michelle, that was her name.

Just a little something that was stored in my subconscious and it crossed over somehow.

I've always been moody.
That's something I'd have to live with, if you can't cure it. xx

feed me .

I'm afraid you've been fucked and thrown away so many times you've gotten used to it.

My life isn't worth memoirs.

Your life will basically become a carnival of pain.
Now, when you can't stand it,
not one more day,
not one more hour,
it will get worse, much worse!

It's so easy to be careless. It takes courage and character to care.

Some of us believe that we can make a difference. And then sometimes we wake up, and we realize we failed.


Some lines off Detachment. xx

don't wake me up.

i fear sleeping.
i fear being awake.

uncertainties linger.
dissatisfaction, its best friend.

i fear myself.
i fear those around.

what's dying like?
forgot where I watched/read this and it goes something like "How do you know you're not afraid of dying, you've never tried it."
definitely not the exact words.

we hear & reminisce only what we'd want.

i feel guilty fantasizing about a future i might never have.
that means i'm unhappy.
that could also be me jinxing it?
maybe that's why i'm single, i'm not in my fantasies?

if that even makes any remote sense.

but then again i find comfort in them.
an escape from my dreary, bleak and bleached life.


wanderlust.
consumed by wanderlust.
thirst for everything.
yet some will say nothing.

i will not be exiting this world without being granted the opportunity to love, and be loved, right?

xx

Life's Instructions .

Amazing Posts

WEDNESDAY, JULY 11, 2007

1) Have a firm handshake.

2) Look people in the eye.

3) Sing in the shower.

4) Own a great stereo system.

5) If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

6) Keep secrets.

7) Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

8) Always accept an outstretched hand.

9) Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one 

can tell the difference.

10) Whistle.

11) Avoid sarcastic remarks.

12) Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision 

will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.

13) Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

14) Lend only those books you never care to see again.

15) Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

16) When playing games with ! children, let them win.

17) Give people a second chance, but not a third.

18) Be romantic.

19) Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

20) Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, 

nothing is as important as it first seems.

21) Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments.

 It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.

22) Be a good loser.

23) Be a good winner.

24) Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

25) When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

26) Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

27) Keep it simple.

28) Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

29) Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many 

times you have to cross the same river.

30) Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets

31) Be bold and courageous. When you

 look back on life, you'll regret the

things you didn't do more than the one's you did.

32) Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

33) Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and

 be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.

34) Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.

35) Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; 

you need only stay a few minutes.

36) Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

37)Once in a while, take the scenic route.

38) Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 

'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'

39) Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

40) Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. 

Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

41) Show respect for everyone who works for a living,

 regardless of how trivial their job.

42) Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

43) Make someone's day by paying the toll for the

 person in the car behind you.

44) Become someone's hero.

45) Marry only for love.

46) Count your blessings.

47) Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.

48) Wave at the children on a school bus.

49) Remember that 80 per cent of the success in

 any job is based on your ability to deal with people.

50) Don't expect life to be fair.

intouchables .

morbid this, 

morbid that.

trepidation this,

trepidation that.

laughter this,

laughter that.

watching that movie made me want to learn French again.

If I finished Level 1, barely or not, that's something, yes?

Never finishing anything; always quitting.

Yes, that definitely sounds like me.

Ghost pains,

a term I came across in the movie.

"I don't feel anything, but it's still painful."

Words are eerily powerful when you've stringed them.

xx

blood trickles .

I'm officially a psycho.
tonight I've given up.
i was broken down, hypocrite-d and now stamping myself cuckoo.
i.
am.
a.
nobody.
i.
deserve.
to.
suffer.
i.
need.
to.
die.
xx