don't wake me up.

i fear sleeping.
i fear being awake.

uncertainties linger.
dissatisfaction, its best friend.

i fear myself.
i fear those around.

what's dying like?
forgot where I watched/read this and it goes something like "How do you know you're not afraid of dying, you've never tried it."
definitely not the exact words.

we hear & reminisce only what we'd want.

i feel guilty fantasizing about a future i might never have.
that means i'm unhappy.
that could also be me jinxing it?
maybe that's why i'm single, i'm not in my fantasies?

if that even makes any remote sense.

but then again i find comfort in them.
an escape from my dreary, bleak and bleached life.


wanderlust.
consumed by wanderlust.
thirst for everything.
yet some will say nothing.

i will not be exiting this world without being granted the opportunity to love, and be loved, right?

xx