end of me?

would i ever get the chance of being showered with such affection?

such affection that would make smile a million dollar smile even when i'm alone?

perhaps it is me. perhaps i've put an icebox where my heart is supposed to be.

perhaps you made me such.

your ignorance, your faithlessness, your lies and your broken promises

have gotten to me. and here i am. all on my own. and i am cold to the core.

fear runs through my veins. fear is all i have.

but i shall remain as i am.

for at least i have loved and lost.

a picture that's worth a million words.

this goes out to the ones that are reaching out to me while i'm stuck at rock bottom.

change, has to come from within. true?

and yeah i know i have to change who i am.

i shouldn't be too negative, too naive, too emotional and the list goes on and on.

but you see this is who i am?

and this is who i've been?

and it is in myself whom i believe.

if i'm trying to change who i am or what i am.

what am i supposed to believe in? so yeah maybe i don't want to change as the thought scares me. this is who i am. this is what i have. this is me. i do not enjoy being a depressed person who puts a lot of others in front of her ownself but shouldn't i come to acceptance that this i who i am ? yes you love me yes you do not want to see me cutting myself and being sad but that defines me, no?

if you do say no, then who have you known all this while?

xx