you said we wouldn't be apart .

Sorrow, has overwhelmed her mind-
Hollow, is her life of some kind-
Shadows, lives within her heart and-
Follows, till death tears her apart .

i may not know what your past has been like.

i may not take away the pain and the hurt that you feel.

but i do wish ever so dearly that you could see me for who i am,

not a distorted picture of your past. xx

bipolar me .

twisted & torn .

cold & alone .

like walking back 'home' at evil lurking hours,

hurt, dejected, figuring ways to simplify the world.

is this me? i see someone looking back.

the same confused, dazed eyes.

the same exterior,

the same weary smile.

*thoughts consumes her

*loneliness lingers around her

*she's hit with the sudden question ;

do i bring misery to myself, and others too?

i just want to break free.

i just want to run for years on end.

i don't want any more ties.

i don't want to burden anyone, anymore.

would a simple slit solve my problems?

but knowing that i wouldn't get to live a contented,

a satisfied life, hurts more.

"everyday, in every way, i'm getting better "

all that's left to do is simply believing in it . xx

this one is for her .

can we let the world fade away?

can we let time stand still?

nothing lasts forever.

i know now what the future holds for me,

what more you?

have you ever lied on the floor,

staring at the shiny dots in the distant sky?

have you ever dipped your feet in cold running water,

with fishes nibbling at your toes?

i believe that everything in life is an illusion,

and it will disappear into thin air one fine day.

no matter how old we get,

no matter how far apart we maybe,

no matter if we're still friends or merely passing strangers,

do know that at one point,

your presence made a difference in my life.

and i can only wish upon the fluttery lights

that i mattered too . x

his infinite kisses .

do you know how harebells look like?

pale, blue, dainty, shy.

do you know how the galaxy looks like?

shiny, bright, never-ending, amazing.

if only words could describe this tingly sensation that is felt in my membrane.

you make me wiggle my toes and squirm around.

not for you spook me, but for i just want to explode into tiny little mini me's.

your scent, your skin, your touch, your beating heat.

and how can i exclude your smile, your laugh, your eyes, cheeks, oh baby, just all of you.

i'm out of ways proving you me,

but even if you hate you,

know that i am,

head over heels,

upside down,

inside out,

madly and crazily,

in love with you.

i know not why you?

i know not why love you?

i know not why believe in you?

i simply know your infinite kisses answers every doubt i'd ever have. x

morning light .

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

i guess i'd accept that =] x

every word you say i think

we can't keep away from each other can we?

he's still not all that considerate . but jojo said for a cocky guy like that to admit that he misses me is a huge step .

i don't know .

everyone says i should stop thinking . and just have fun . but i'm so, flimsy . i disgust me =/ xx

sing to me .

used, prodded, chucked, defeated, murdered.

i can't let this mask fall off, but i don't have the energy to pull it all together anymore. will i ever get to run away again? the responsibilities. the people. the ties. it's all getting a bit too overwhelming. i'm suffocating again. i just want to break free. i love you. i love them. but it all hurts. and i don't want to be here, there anymore. i can't deal with anything. i just need to find my backbone again. all i'm requesting for is time. spare me some time, some space, some love and some understanding.

so i can stand before all of you, and look you all in the eyes, and say it with my head held high, that i'm fine. but would that day ever come?

what does it mean to be over a love?

am i not supposed to cry when i see him?

am i supposed to be smiling whenever he's mentioned?

am i supposed to not be wanting to see him, or call him?

am i supposed to just not think about it?

am i supposed to not feel any more hurt, or jealousy?

am i to announce that i'm not in love . . ?

for if that defines being over a love, i'm far from it aren't i?

you are not whom i thought you were.

you are far from whom i expected you to be.

filthy.

and i am dumb enough to think there was more to you?

but my heart still peels away those hardened layers every single time. xx