i had you .

don't push me ,

for i already am at the brink .

don't pull me,

for i need to bounce back on my own .

don't love me,

for i don't have it in me to love you back .

don't hate me,

for it is when i least deserve your love is when i need it most .

dear friend,

i know we've never been the kind to promise to stick with each other till the end of time. but you, you were my sister. i can only assume what i've done to piss you off so, but it is not fine with me. how you look at me & away . when once it was looking at me & showing off that content like smile that would make me feel less of a lonely girl. i can only write here. for the world would then know that you don't want me to be a part of your world anymore, and that simply seems like the end of us as i know it. loneliness really building up in me. i only wish i saw this coming. did i hurt you that bad, friend? i'm still trying . am i pushing you? am i losing you? when should i give up ?

love,

friend.

or perhaps ex friend .

i long for serenity.

i know i'm not making utmost use of my time, my means, my capabilities, but i'm stranded . x