it had it's up and it's down .
i don't want to forget anything. so i'll write it here . =]
woke up . got to atheera's house for her open house .
was fun . i really enjoyed myself . we had some issues then . = /
that sucked . and when she vented, i felt like i was always taking shit like this from everyone .
but then i realize i do it too =]
so i get where she's coming from .
we might have said a hurtful thing or two to each other .
but i know everyone has their own battles .
everyone has their own issues .
i get mad . they get mad .
and what matters is at the end of the day,
if they don't run to you,
who else would they do?
you can only hurt the ones you love, yeah?
it was raining . i was pissy . i didn't want to smoke up .
but i couldn't drive so we ended at john's anyway .
and . i let myself into his room . and i took a short nap on his bed .
and he came in . and i heard him . so i woke up . and we just spoke .
he was rolling, i was rolling on the bed =P
we were just talking about everything .
and it was amazing .
and we blazed .
and then we spoke some more .
and if i could type every single thing, i definitely would . =]
he showed me his old poems that he wrote . and i was completely blown away ?
he writes well, beautifully in fact . beautifully in pain .
and he opened up to me .
and he wanted to get to know me . =]
it felt right ?
i know i shouldn't get all excited over nothing ?
or too quickly at least ?
but,
it's been ages since i've felt such .
and perhaps i'm sick and tired of feeling nothing but miserable and hate .
and well i've liked him from before anyways =]
i was just too blinded with a dick to allow myself to look at others .
and this fb page just appeared like when i checked it before posting this .
" When you finally let go of the past, something better comes along "
and i've missed him, for sure .
but i'm coming around to acceptance that i'll never be theirs , again .
and i've not been putting the blame on me as much anymore?
changes . x
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