conspirator .

Surely I can free myself from these chains.
These chains that I claim to be held down by.
Strength so overwhelming I'm apparently pinned with my face half an inch from the ground.

I'm jealous on days.
Then I tell myself to know better at night.

How can I cure myself when there's stupidity that is oh so stifling!

I check myself every step that I'm aware of.
All that effort, that sweat, that work put into bending my limbs in ways unimagined just so-
Just so I'd not be deemed worthy as opposed to some attention seeking cunts?

Has it become my nature to distrust every person I meet?
Did skepticism embed itself in every single cell that I'm made of?
Even towards these people I find myself surrounded by both voluntarily and not?

"Round and round we go.
When's it gonna stop."

I am living another life in my head.
I tell myself that's the life I'll be leading.
Surely I know it's nothing but a mere fantasy.
Childish, one would presume.
Will I get to where I want to be?
Is there some sort of switch or a glitch in time that at some very precise moment I'll know my life has taken a turn for the better?
In my head I see that supposed glitch.
That glitch I'm putting my head down now for.
That glitch I'm doing my best to deserve it when it comes.
That glitch..
That glitch....

One can only dream.
One can only hope.

" Hell is yourself "

xx