bass down low .

shopping .
with a guy .
that was my first .
we went to times .
then 1u .
in one day .
then 1u again the next .
and the look on his face , lights ME up .
when he got his supra .
it was just indescribable .

and at 1u today . he dragged me to the changing room and i was just standing while he took his shirt out in front of me and people were just like o.O or like wow kinda thing . i have to admit i kembang-ed big time .

and he said this after the whole day putting up a long face .
he said i don't know how come you're tolerating me .
all my ex gfs they sure fight because i'm like this .
but you , you just have so much patience for me .


i flied high =P
he's ,
not entirely what i see in a guy i will admit that we have very different opinions and views . i guess the age gap does contribute to that issue but he really sayangs . and that's all that matters to me at this point . i know we're not going to be like this forever . i might not want to see him anymore after january . i'm just enjoying this a day at a time . he's still amazing though . bloody amazing .

my first new year with kathy . shit . friends for so damn long but we never spent new years together . and all i want is just a kiss from him . i met ashraf again . and somehow , i only feel sad when i talk to him over the phone . not when i see him . i've lost all urges to touch him or kiss him . and i put john first .

but i'm a pathetic idiot .
i get so lost in a person and the only way i'll redeem myself from him is  if i get completely lost in another person .

miserable ?
pathetic ?
weak ?

not really . just wanting to be loved . just want a loving hand . some affection . and attention . xx