she's like a star ; my left ass .

Arthur's Day concert .
I guess I've been breaking all my pledges.
Only consolation is that now I know better of what's expected of me so I know when to say yes and when to say no.

"Come over to the dark side ; we have cookies"

Lately it has just been like I do not want to be weighed down by my past. I've had days where I felt so good. I finally convinced myself (and I believe it too) that I'm perfectly fine. I'll be okay. Everything I've been looking for is just around the corner. You wait for the best things. Etc.

I wouldn't say its such bollocks as I its all I have right now.
No more self-righteousness.
No more discipline.
No more clinging on to what has been or could have been.

Yes.
I realized there was a part of me that's fully aware of how I do crave of wanting a person there for me.

She's like a star.

It's been years.

Do I crave it? 

On occasions? 

That would mean I'm consciously being a hypocrite. 

Decisions.

Goddamned decisions.

I miss that rush. The tears that pour onto the open wounds that burns it more, transcending me. 

Yeah perhaps I made a promise.

But when I've lost all respect ; wouldn't an empty promise be unworthy of keeping? 

Mutilate me.

I would.

Why wouldn't you? 

xx