at times, it kills me to be around you. Around people. People disappoint all the time. They're not random and their moves are so anticipated. Which is depressing because i anticipate the worst and that takes place..people live up to my worst expectations, am i supposed to be happy or sad about that? It kills me that they don't get me, my feelings but i do get them. Self-consolation is the only way i've been staying alive and sane all these years..what would i to do if one day i just wake up and decide that i can't take anymore of anything..would i still want to be a part of this world? Perhaps there is some place far more amazing for me. Perhaps a coma..people say the ones in a comatose condition are happy in their head. Now that's a dangerous thought right there. "Same shit different day" -ranjie, i long to belong xx