it's amazing how 7 days can change everything.

"sometimes the past is something you just can't let go off.
and sometimes the past is something you'd do anything to forget.
and sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present. "

" all i need is this moment, in my mind i would recreate "

"this silence isn't so bad. .
till i look at my hands and feel sad.
because the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perferctly <3 "


6th december 09
- we took a break? i don't know sort of.

the following days
we've been hanging. talking crying being mad but still wanting to hang with each other.
it's weird. we weren't supposedly together but we were together. but we couldn't decide. hardest few days. but with all the happenings that has been taking place, it made things easier, on me at least. the gang is amazingly funny.

i love my old friends but it's nice not being the spoilt weird ass slut just for once.
everyone here smokes drinks and smoke up and have sex. i feel like an angel for once =]
which is nice because you feel like you belong. that's all i have been looking for the whole while long. somewhere i belong with people who doesn't make me feel like i shouldn't be who i really am.

it's just hard to explain. i love everyone i have and i'm grateful for every person in my life.

a lot of things took place =] like drinking everynight hanging out every night and somehow still finding the stamina to get up and smile and face the world while anticipating for the night again. gosh the flutters just knowing you're gonna hang . .

i can't really describe it but i'm trying.

i'm just happy with how things are at the moment i guess.
it's just what i pictured i would be.

except the bitchy roommie.




if only every second of our time spent together were recorded.
i long for the world to see how much fun i'm having.
i just hope it wouldn't end. =/


everything has it's way of ending.
as much as i wouldn't want to think about it i know i got to be prepared. .
i'm not going to let myself be hurt again.
to be hurt at the most unexpected moment.
i wanna expect shit all the time.


i wonder where my incorporated sister is? she's been missing for such a long time i miss her but i can't help wonder whether is the feeling mutual. .
i'm sorry i'm like that of an insecure person. you should already get me by now as you're the only one who acknowledges the mere existence of my blog =]




the international night was fun and eventful.
he dances, well =]

sometimes i feel like i'm not good enough for him.
i feel like i'm restraining him. ugh.
but i love him dearly <3

he makes me wanna be no one else but me. xxx