nothing around you changes so you're just stuck with the same shit and pretty much trying different ways to overcome it.
i've been keeping such a strong face for only 5 days and it's the longest 5 days of my life. i had to cry. everything's just so unbearable.
why me.
i couldn't even look at him.
i fear the mere slight connection i feel might send me back to where i'm trying to leave.
i guess i just want to be taken seriously by him, to be treated right, to prove to him that i've feelings too. fuck it i don't really know. i don't know how to let go.
so why am i mad at renise?
as unfair as i'm about to sound i do realize it's true.
that little green monster.
kissed her, twice.
asked her out.
talks to her.
texts her.
it's what i've been wanting from him the whole damn while.
am i going to be fine?
i sure hope so.
because where i am at, sucks balls.
xx
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