why am i so messed up?
i try so hard to constantly be happy.
to not get all soppy and stuff but WOW
it's really so hard to maintain this emotion.
because everything that surrounds me,
everything that i surround myself with,
doesn't exactly ignite me.
i allow people to get to my head.
my insecurities gets to the best of me.
i just wanna escape.
to someplace where i belong.
with people who understands me.
i'm just too fragile.
why?
i can't seem to change who i am.
i tried.
i failed-
but i kept trying.
and i kept failing.
so what do i do really?
i'm lost, confused.
i've become very despondent at times, most times actually.
i'm back to this blackhole.
but then again i guess i never really left ?
shit seems so bleak.
happiness my ass.
a myth created by people just to give our sorry kind a glimmer of hope.
can you please hold me?
just hold me through the times i'm hurting.
just hold me through the night.
just in case i don't make it.
at least i wouldn't feel so alone.
and if you don't think it's too much of a burden,
just keep holding on to me.
your love might just be the sparkly stuff i need to keep myself sane.
xx
"I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark. And that only I can know, only I can understand my own condition.
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