and i cried. i screamed and i cried in the car. if anyone saw me they must think i'm really out of my mind. well i'm getting there.
i was reading this book. and there was this line.
bla bla bla but the gist of it is like " .. the faithlessness to their memories ... "
and i was like BINGO! TOUCHDOWN!
perhaps that is what i'm really pissed and mad at about a lot of times.
i don't get people and their faithlessness of our memories together.
like how can you do that don't you think and feel guilty?
or am i just the only freak around.
because everyone looks so genuinely happy.
where do i fit in?
nowhere really.
i try hard.
but it's just. hard. to let go.
like i think i'd be fine. and then when i get reminded of something my mood changes all of a sudden. and don't anyone else get that? then what are in their heads all the time? memories are all you have. they make you who you are. such a vital and confusing role memories hold.
i watched this movie and there was a dialogue like " if you don't like who you are, change! "
and i do try. i just keep getting sucked back in. maybe it's innate? or maybe i'm not trying hard enough. shit is confusing =/ x
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