valentine~

he said hi.

i wonder why.

but we spoke for abit and the whole time i was just out to get him.

trying to make him feel bad.

yeahh that didn't work as well as i expected.

i ended up feeling bad-

i'm a dummy i know.

so i ended up calling him yeah.

and went over.

just like those days.

i told myself so many things on the way there.

ranjie,

don't touch him.

don't look him in the eye.

don't sit by him.

don't let him get in your car.

don't look happy.

and most importantly,

don't let his lips press against yours.

don't let his fingers lace yours-

and wow i failed everything.

it felt like a dream.

a dream that i wish wouldn't have to end.

it was one of those moments where i wish time would just freeze, just like when i was at mines. i wanted to cry just thinking that after this amazing moment we have to move on with our lives. that didn't exactly work out for me did it?

so well yeah-

the reason this post is called valentine is because, he asked me.

"will you be my valentine "

and 19 years that was the first time someone ever asked me that. even if it wasn't as sincere. even if it was more like an obligation perhaps? i just had to close my eyes. for i fear my tears will stream down my face and i don't want to look anymore vulnerable than i already do.

so well yeah,

i had fun.

as much as i hate to admit it.

he's still an ass.

but somehow things looked different.

he looked better, happier.

i'd be there eventually. xx