Thursday, February 25, 2010

real international day

the night before i went out with ashraf and renise.
and well i got pissed again.
his words. they just weren't right.
i felt hurt.

and so i came back.
and i lied on my bed for 2 hours before i downed half a bottle of cough syrup and went flat on the couch for an hour.
in that two hours i came up with a speech.

which i did deliver.
and shit didn't turn out okie at first.
but then to think about it now,
i'm not sure whether it would've made even a tiny bit difference.
i still feel like crying just thinking about what happened.
i went so freaking weak.
i let all my guard down.
and i just broke down.
in front of a person, what more a guy.
and thinking about the shit i said, the shit i did.
makes me want to cry even more.

so are things resolved?
no they aren't.
do i feel better?
perhaps a good night's sleep would help.
i don't know who i am.
i don't know what i want.

but i know i'm unhappy.
i'd strive,
strive for the things i used to have.

because i still remember the days where i used to go to sleep smiling.
and i missh that so much.

i just wish i can make myself happy.
because humans hurt humans.

I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin


and i didn't want to write today.
but with my memory,
i just need to remember this.
the reason i came up with this blog is to vent out my feelings like i used to do it.
and now i've intertwined both.
which well i hope is a good thing but-

he doesn't want it.
so yeah. xx

No comments:

Post a Comment